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richincolor · 2 years ago

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[Images are the covers for Gloria Buenrostro is Not My Girlfriend, Permanent Record, and When You Wish Upon a Lantern]

On the Job

This week I visited a bookstore and there were young people skipping through the store making lively instagram posts while they were working. It struck me that they would be awesome characters in a young adult novel and I would totally read that. Here are a dozen titles that feature young people hard at work. Of course the list begins with a story that takes place in a bookstore.

This is All Your Fault by Aminah Mae Safi Feiwel & Friends

Rinn Olivera is finally going to tell her longtime crush AJ that she’s in love with him.

Daniella Korres writes poetry for her own account, but nobody knows it’s her.

Imogen Azar is just trying to make it through the day.

When Rinn, Daniella, and Imogen clock into work at Wild Nights Bookstore on the first day of summer, they’re expecting the hours to drift by the way they always do. Instead, they have to deal with the news that the bookstore is closing. Before the day is out, there’ll be shaved heads, a diva author, and a very large shipment of Air Jordans to contend with.

And it will take all three of them working together if they have any chance to save Wild Nights Bookstore.

The Boy in the Black Suit by Jason Reynolds Atheneum Books for Young Readers [K. Imani's Review]

Just when seventeen-year-old Matt thinks he can’t handle one more piece of terrible news, he meets a girl who’s dealt with a lot more—and who just might be able to clue him in on how to rise up when life keeps knocking him down—in this wry, gritty novel from the author of When I Was the Greatest.

Matt wears a black suit every day. No, not because his mom died—although she did, and it sucks. But he wears the suit for his gig at the local funeral home, which pays way better than the Cluck Bucket, and he needs the income since his dad can’t handle the bills (or anything, really) on his own. So while Dad’s snagging bottles of whiskey, Matt’s snagging fifteen bucks an hour. Not bad. But everything else? Not good. Then Matt meets Lovey. She’s got a crazy name, and she’s been through more crazy than he can imagine. Yet Lovey never cries. She’s tough. Really tough. Tough in the way Matt wishes he could be. Which is maybe why he’s drawn to her, and definitely why he can’t seem to shake her. Because there’s nothing more hopeful than finding a person who understands your loneliness—and who can maybe even help take it away.

When You Wish Upon a Lantern by Gloria Chao Viking

Liya and Kai had been best friends since they were little kids, but all that changed when a humiliating incident sparked The Biggest Misunderstanding Of All Time—and they haven’t spoken since.

Then Liya discovers her family’s wishing lantern store is struggling, and she decides to resume a tradition she had with her beloved late grandmother: secretly fulfilling the wishes people write on the lanterns they send into the sky. It may boost sales and save the store, but she can’t do it alone . . . and Kai is the only one who cares enough to help.

While working on their covert missions, Liya and Kai rekindle their friendship—and maybe more. But when their feuding families and their changing futures threaten to tear them apart again, can they find a way to make their own wishes come true?

Café Con Lychee by Emery Lee Quill Tree Books [Audrey's Review]

Sometimes bitter rivalries can brew something sweet

Theo Mori wants to escape. Leaving Vermont for college means getting away from working at his parents’ Asian American café and dealing with their archrivals’ hopeless son Gabi who’s lost the soccer team more games than Theo can count.

Gabi Moreno is miserably stuck in the closet. Forced to play soccer to hide his love for dance and iced out by Theo, the only openly gay guy at school, Gabi’s only reprieve is his parents’ Puerto Rican bakery and his plans to take over after graduation.

But the town’s new fusion café changes everything. Between the Mori’s struggling shop and the Moreno’s plan to sell their bakery in the face of the competition, both boys find their dreams in jeopardy. Then Theo has an idea—sell photo-worthy food covertly at school to offset their losses. When he sprains his wrist and Gabi gets roped in to help, they realize they need to work together to save their parents’ shops but will the new feelings rising between them be enough to send their future plans up in smoke?

Darius the Great Deserves Better (Darius The Great #2) by Adib Khorram Dial Books for Young Readers

In this companion to the award-winning Darius the Great Is Not Okay, Darius suddenly has it all: a boyfriend, an internship, a spot on the soccer team. It’s everything he’s ever wanted–but what if he deserves better?

Darius Kellner is having a bit of a year. Since his trip to Iran this past spring, a lot has changed. He’s getting along with his dad, and his best friend Sohrab is only a Skype call away. Between his first boyfriend, Landon, his varsity soccer practices, and his internship at his favorite tea shop, Darius is feeling pretty okay. Like he finally knows what it means to be Darius Kellner.

Then, of course, everything changes. Darius’s grandmothers are in town for a long visit while his dad is gone on business, and Darius isn’t sure whether they even like him. The internship isn’t what Darius thought it would be, and now he doesn’t know about turning tea into his career. He was sure he liked Landon, but when he starts hanging out with Chip–soccer teammate and best friend of Trent Bolger, epic bully–well, he’s just not so sure about Landon anymore, either.

Darius thought he knew exactly who he was and what he wanted, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe he deserves better.

K-pop Confidential by Stephan Lee Point [Crystal's Review]

Candace Park knows a lot about playing a role. For most of her life, she's been playing the role of the quiet Korean girl who takes all AP classes and plays a classical instrument, keeping her dreams of stardom-and her obsession with SLK, K-pop's top boyband-to herself. She doesn't see how a regular girl like her could possibly become one of those K-pop goddesses she sees on YouTube. Even though she can sing. Like, really sing.

So when Candace secretly enters a global audition held by SLK's music label, the last thing she expects is to actually get a coveted spot in their trainee program. And convincing her strict parents to let her to go is all but impossible ... although it's nothing compared to what comes next.

Under the strict supervision of her instructors at the label's headquarters in Seoul, Candace must perfect her performance skills to within an inch of her life, learn to speak Korean fluently, and navigate the complex hierarchies of her fellow trainees, all while following the strict rules of the industry. Rule number one? NO DATING, which becomes impossible to follow when she meets a dreamy boy trainee. And in the all-out battle to debut, Candace is in danger of planting herself in the middle of a scandal lighting up the K-pop fandom around the world.

If she doesn't have what it takes to become a perfect, hair-flipping K-pop idol, what will that mean for her family, who have sacrificed everything to give her the chance? And is a spot in the most hyped K-pop girl group of all time really worth risking her friendships, her future, and everything she believes in?

A Pho Love Story by Loan Le Simon Pulse

If Bao Nguyen had to describe himself, he’d say he was a rock. Steady and strong, but not particularly interesting. His grades are average, his social status unremarkable. He works at his parents’ pho restaurant, and even there, he is his parents’ fifth favorite employee. Not ideal.

If Linh Mai had to describe herself, she’d say she was a firecracker. Stable when unlit, but full of potential for joy and spark and fire. She loves art and dreams pursuing a career in it. The only problem? Her parents rely on her in ways they’re not willing to admit, including working practically full-time at her family’s pho restaurant.

For years, the Mais and the Nguyens have been at odds, having owned competing, neighboring phở restaurants. Bao and Linh, who’ve avoided each other for most of their lives, both suspect that the feud stems from feelings much deeper than friendly competition.

But then a chance encounter brings Linh and Bao together despite their best efforts and sparks fly, leading them both to wonder what took so long for them to connect. But then, of course, they immediately remember.

Can Linh and Bao find love in the midst of feuding families and complicated histories?

Permanent Record by Mary H.K. Choi Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers [Crystal's Review]

After a year of college, Pablo is working at his local twenty-four-hour deli, selling overpriced snacks to brownstone yuppies. He’s dodging calls from the student loan office and he has no idea what his next move is.

Leanna Smart’s life so far has been nothing but success. Age eight: Disney Mouseketeer; Age fifteen: first #1 single on the US pop chart; Age seventeen, *tenth* #1 single; and now, at Age nineteen…life is a queasy blur of private planes, weird hotel rooms, and strangers asking for selfies on the street.

When Leanna and Pab randomly meet at 4:00 a.m. in the middle of a snowstorm in Brooklyn, they both know they can’t be together forever. So, they keep things on the down-low and off Instagram for as long as they can. But it takes about three seconds before the world finds out…

The Way You Make Me Feel by Maurene Goo Farrar, Straus and Giroux [Jessica's Review]

Clara Shin lives for pranks and disruption. When she takes one joke too far, her dad sentences her to a summer working on his food truck, the KoBra, alongside her uptight classmate Rose Carver. Not the carefree summer Clara had imagined. But maybe Rose isn’t so bad. Maybe the boy named Hamlet (yes, Hamlet) crushing on her is pretty cute. Maybe Clara actually feels invested in her dad’s business. What if taking this summer seriously means that Clara has to leave her old self behind?

Symptoms of a Heartbreak by Sona Charaipotra Imprint [K. Iman's Review]

The youngest doctor in America, an Indian-American teen makes her rounds―and falls head over heels―in the contemporary romantic comedy Symptoms of a Heartbreak.

Fresh from med school, sixteen-year-old medical prodigy Saira arrives for her first day at her new job: treating children with cancer. She’s always had to balance family and friendships with her celebrity as the Girl Genius―but she’s never had to prove herself to skeptical adult co-workers while adjusting to real life-and-death stakes. And working in the same hospital as her mother certainly isn’t making things any easier.

But life gets complicated when Saira finds herself falling in love with a patient: a cute teen boy who’s been diagnosed with cancer. And when she risks her brand new career to try to improve his chances, it could cost her everything.

It turns out “heartbreak” is the one thing she still doesn’t know how to treat.

In her solo debut, Sona Charaipotra brings us a compelling #ownvoices protagonist who’s not afraid to chase what she wants. Symptoms of a Heartbreak goes from romantic comedy highs to tearjerker lows and is the ultimate cure-all for young adult readers needing an infusion of something heartfelt.

The Downstairs Girl by Stacey Lee G.P. Putnam’s Sons [Crystal's Review]

Atlanta, 1890: By day, seventeen-year-old Jo Kuan works as a lady’s maid for the cruel daughter of one of the wealthiest men in Atlanta. But by night, Jo moonlights as the pseudonymous author of a newspaper advice column for the genteel Southern lady, “Dear Miss Sweetie.” When her column becomes wildly popular, she uses the power of the pen to address some of society’s ills, but she’s not prepared for the backlash that follows when her column challenges fixed ideas about race and gender.

While her opponents clamor to uncover the secret identity of Miss Sweetie, a mysterious letter sets Jo off on a search for her own past and the parents who abandoned her as a baby. But when her efforts put her in the crosshairs of Atlanta’s most notorious criminal, Jo must decide whether she, a girl used to living in the shadows, is ready to step into the light. With prose that is witty, insightful, and at times heartbreaking, Stacey Lee masterfully crafts an extraordinary social drama set in the New South.

#young adult #working #young adult lit

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of-twilight-and-moonshadow · 2 years ago

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Comfortable Silence - Riley x Emery

Post Bullet Club Betrayal at Sakura Genesis 2023

Part of my Dark Angel of the Bullet Club Series

Word Count: 1874 Warnings: Mentions of betrayal, mentions of harming someone else.

Teeth-rotting fluff

Tag List: @blxxckheart @summertimefun1982

Prompts: > You can cuss, cry, scream—it doesn’t matter. Just talk to me; talk until it’s all out. > You’re safe here in my arms.

(border by)

Heartbreak.

Heartbreak and anger were the only emotions Emery could feel at the moment.

Heartbreak at how her boyfriend had been attacked and betrayed. Anger at the people who had done it.

Emery had been keeping a close eye on things happening in NJPW over the years, especially once she started dating Riley. Even more so recently, with Jay leaving and Finlay seemingly taking over. All his jabs, abuse, and disrespect he had shown her boyfriend made her seethe, and her blood boil. Numerous times, Riley had to talk her out of catching a flight to Japan to throw hands with the Irish-German jerk.

For hours today, she had waited to hear from Riley about his trios match at Sakura Genesis. Her demeanor had changed from excitement to shock when he had called her. His usual charming voice was low and soft and seemed to break as he spoke. He refused to do a video call, which was unlike him.

Riley usually loved video calls, claiming that seeing Emery’s beautiful face was the best part of his days.

For him to act this way pained her, which is why she was catching the first flight available to Tokyo. While she had been on the phone with him, she was already packing, throwing a few changes of clothing into a small carry-on, and hastily opening her laptop to get her ticket.

The longer they were on the phone, the more she could tell Riley was affected by the whole thing.

Not so much David’s attack on him— but the fact that even Gedo and KENTA had played a part in it.

And Taiji.

Taiji Ishimori. His long-term tag team partner. Someone he had been through the burner with for years now.

The closest flight she found was one that left Jacksonville at 2:24 pm, had a three-hour layover in Dallas, and would arrive in Tokyo at about 10:15 pm. It cost her a pretty penny, close to 3400 dollars, but Emery needed to be there for Riley.

It had already been nearly five months since they last saw each other in person. It was her luck that TK and Kenny didn’t need her for any Elite business for the following week, and she was able to take the time away. Kenny had even driven her to the airport and saw her off.

The entire flight, she was too wired to sleep; her mind kept racing with numerous thoughts.

What Riley must be feeling at this moment.

How would she feel if she was in his place.

What was the most pain-inducing thing she could legally do to Finlay and Ishimori.

Nearly eighteen hours after leaving Florida, the plane finally touched down in Tokyo, and Emery hastily made her way off the plane and towards the pickup area to look for a taxi.

Since he had taken to being in NJPW for the majority of the past few years, Riley had gotten himself a small apartment. Her Japanese was a bit rusty, so she typed out the address in her phone for the driver, and with a nod from him, they took off toward her unsuspecting boyfriend.

It had been just over four years since Emery had been in Japan, but it was still as beautiful as she remembered. All the bright, neon lights surrounded the streets. It gave her a small window to think more about everything that had happened.

Sure, Jay had taken Bullet Club over from Kenny – but it wasn’t a complete, hostile takeover like in the past. Kenny had been ready to pass it on, so unlike the last moments where AJ had attacked Finn and Kenny had attacked AJ—Jay was able to take over the club peacefully. There was no real animosity between Emery and Jay; they got along reasonably well. When she had learned that the violent takeover had occurred once more, as David attacked Jay back at Battle in the Valley, Emery felt somewhat disappointed.

But after talking with Riley and then later with Jay, Emery realized it wasn’t an actual takeover. Jay had zero plans to hand off Bullet Club to someone, especially not to David Finlay. To her, Finlay knew it too—which is why he seemed to always have issues with Riley, who would always be on Jay’s side.

Switchblade and ELP were for life, no matter what.

A smile lifted Emery’s lips slightly at the thought. She noticed the car come to a steady stop and looked out her window, recognizing the apartment building in front of her.

“Arigato,” Emery told the driver, paying him the fee plus a decent tip. It was late at night, after all, and she was feeling generous to him for even picking her up. Grabbing her carry-on bag and getting out of the taxi, Emery’s brown eyes scanned the outside of the building, stopping about halfway up at where Riley’s apartment would approximately be. Taking a deep breath, she walked into the brightly lit lobby area and headed to the elevator, pressing the ‘up’ button.

Her eyes widened momentarily, quickly pulled out her cell and clicked on her messages.

“Hey, Ken. Totally spaced on it, but I landed a bit ago. Already got a taxi and made it to Riley’s. Getting in the elevator as we speak.”

Hitting the send button, Emery walked into the small square, hit the button for the 7th floor, and then the close button. As she waited, her phone vibrated in her hands, alerting her to a message.

“One-track mind, like always. ;-) I’m sure he’s going to love having you there. Stay safe, and try not to get into trouble. -K”

With a smile, she replied,

“Harrharr Ken. Thanks, and no promises. I have some asses to kick while I’m here.”

The elevator came to a stop, and the doors slid open, so Emery slid her phone into her back pocket and began walking down the hall. For some reason, she started to feel nervous, which was odd; she was just going to see her boyfriend. There was nothing to be nervous about.

Maybe it was the whole situation? She didn’t know what frame of mind he would be in. Would he be happy to see her? Perhaps this was a mis—

No, it wasn’t a mistake. Emery shook the thought from her head.

Riley needed her.

Perhaps, she even needed him.

Either way, it was too late as she stopped outside his apartment door. Not wanting to risk hesitating, Emery quickly reached out and knocked on the wooden door before waiting. Close to a minute passed, and nothing happened.

She debated knocking again, wondering if he was out—or if he was already asleep.

Riley sleeping this early wasn’t usual, however, but going out was a possibility. He hadn’t seemed in a ‘Go-Out’ mode on the phone that morning. Frowning, Emery tried again, knocking just a tad harder, and waited.

Close to a minute passed again, and she was about to reach for her phone before the door swung open.

“What do you--?! E-emery?” Riley questioned, his voice softening as he looked at her standing there.

“Surprise?” She gave him a soft smile, hoping he wasn’t upset, “I just figured… with everything that—” Before she could even finish, Riley had stepped out into the hallway and engulfed her in a hug. His arms wrapped around her and held her tight to his chest, his head resting against the top of hers. Emery slowly snaked her arms around his body, her palms resting against his back as she breathed his scent.

She missed this.

Missed him.

Not seeing him in person for a long time had driven her insane.

They stayed in that spot for several minutes before pulling apart, and as she thought they would head inside, Riley surprised her by leaning down and kissing her. The impact of his lips on hers took her breath away, but she welcomed it, her hands resting on his as he cradled her face in his larger hands. A minute later, he released her lips and led her inside his apartment. He let go of her hand as he closed the door and walked towards the living room.

It was dark inside, a small lamp on in the living room being the only light source. Emery also noticed it seemed trashed, as a chair lay on the floor and papers scattered the living room.

“What are you doing here, Ree?” Riley asked quietly, slumping down on the couch. She noticed he wouldn’t meet her gaze, his eyes staring at the coffee table.

“I wanted to see my boyfriend. He wouldn’t video call me this morning,” Emery said, hoping to get a smile from him, but instead, he seemed only to scoff.

“Some boyfriend… betrayed and attacked by everyone…. Be better off without me.”

She felt like her heart was shattering at his words, so she set her bag down at the small dining table and walked over to join him on the couch.

“Riley…” Emery softly called out, reaching out to take his hand. As soon as she touched him, he quickly drew it away, surprising her. It was silent for a few minutes as she tried to figure out what to say or do.

“Rye— come on, baby, talk to me, please.”

Silence again until Riley pushed himself off the couch and walked over to the window, looking at the city.

“Please, Rye. You can talk to me,” Emery told him, her voice soft,” You can cuss, cry, scream—it doesn’t matter. Just talk to me; talk until it’s all out.”

Even in the dim light, she could see his fists clenching and unclenching. Emery wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him again—but held back, deciding to let him make the first move instead. After what seemed like forever, Riley finally turned around to face her. His jaw was tense, but she could see the emotion in his eyes.

He was hurt. The betrayal—especially by Taiji—was getting to him.

“Just… hold me. Please.” He bit out, eyes glistening as he made the request.

Nodding, Emery brought her legs onto the couch and leaned back as Riley gently laid down on top of her, his head resting on her chest. His long legs stuck out past the end of the couch, but at that moment, he didn’t care about it.

Emery began to softly comb her fingers through his blonde hair, humming a random song as she did so. The silence between them wasn’t thick with tension but calming and comfortable. With her other hand, she gently rubbed his upper back through the shirt he was wearing. As the minutes ticked by, Emery could feel the tension slowly leave Riley’s body as he finally relaxed.

Placing a soft kiss on his head, Emery whispered, “You’re safe here in my arms.”

They stayed like that for quite a while, comfortable in the silence, before Riley finally spoke up.

“Thank you, Emery, for being here…. I love you so, so much….”

“I love you too, Riley,” Emery replied, a soft smile on her face.

This was home.

Being in his arms, being with him.

That’s where she belonged.

#njpw #all elite wrestling #dark angel of the bullet club #kenny omega #OC #original female character #OC Emery #El Phantasmo #ELP #El Phantasmo x OC #ELP x OC #imagine #fanfiction #kitkat0723

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thewickedharlot · 1 year ago

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Today we are bringing you OUR very own tierlist of Hollywood babies. We will not be taking criticism NOR will we be adjusting this. Unfortunately, our word is law.

Now, let’s get to the babies.

FLOP babies

AJ: Our premiere flop baby has waddled his way onto the scene. Baby on Tour (aka AJ Reynolds) has taken our number one spot for the floppiest baby tier—and that’s not just because he only just learned how to hold his own head up! We know baby on tour, we LOVE baby on tour, and I think that the fact that he was brought up on Undead and Scar’s music instead of Baby Einstein means that he’ll most definitely take after Dom re: his reading level! Can’t wait for little AJ to blow his preschool class away with his own special rendition of the alphabet: ABCDEFU!

Tushie Baby #3: Oh Tushie. Coming in hot in the midst of it’s mother’s terrible and public bout of alcoholism is Tushie Baby Number 3! We expect great things from you, number 3, such as chugging tequila straight from your baby bottle, getting emancipated at 15 to escape Tushie, and going on a whirlwind adventure to finally uncover the mystery of Who’s Your Daddy. We know you’re going to be pretty jealous that won’t be included in the Barlowe will, but don’t worry! With such messy parents, we’re sure you’ll be able to make a name for yourself all your own.

Who?

Spencer Floppaport: Great, another one. Spencer mostly stays out of the spotlight, thanks most likely to her over-protective dad, Emery, the most boring of all the Rappaports. We can only hope that the apple falls far from this tree, don’t bore us, baby!

Valerie: Oops! Looks like Declan isn’t the only one saying “who?” when little Valerie is mentioned! We bet that he couldn’t pick her out of a crowd of tots at McDonald’s, despite being much older. Does he know that? Somehow, we doubt it.

Asher: Do you think his first words were “I miss Jamie?” Because same, baby, same. Under Tasha’s care, we’re sure he’ll turn out fine…..right? Right? Thankfully Iris is there to be his defacto mother seeing how Tushie is busy (if you know what we mean). Who said parentification didn’t have it’s perks!

Annie: Good Morning, Sunshine! Having Parker as a father must be rough when he seems to focus all of his time on hating Bonnie Astor instead of spending time with his kids. Did you know that you were named after a dead actress? Well, you do now. A little less “who?” and a little more “well, fuck, that’s depressing.”

You could be in a Gerber commercial, I guess.

Ozzy: Okay, so we have to be nice to this Vanglorious baby so his parents don’t come down here and beat the shit out of us. Plus, we already sort of feel bad for the kid having to be raised by Londy and Greyson, a surefire winner of the “Worst Parents Award” at his public preschool. How do we know he’s being sent to public school? Where else is he gonna put his fighting skills to use?

Oliver: Well, at least he wasn’t on tour. He’s a pretty low-key baby, but he IS pretty cute so we’ll give him that. Even though Preston Barlowe is actively going for that “cool baby with a marlboro in his mouth” by age six, we know that Maisie will be there to keep him in line (or, we hope). Put him on the cover of the next Undead album, let him get his 15 minutes!

Iris: We’ve never seen such a responsible baby in our life! We have to give it to her for raising a kid all on her own (her brother) and probably another one in the very near future. Put her in a Gerber commercial so she’s got some money to buy some formula for the new baby, because we all know miss label-less Tasha isn’t bringing it in.

We love that baby, baby!

Meadow: As the daughter of Candy Royalty and Harry Potter himself, you KNOW this baby is gonna make it big. We can only hope that Blair follows in her late father’s footsteps and gets this baby to work early, we’re dying to see Meadow be the next big thing. Watch out, Aurora!

Lainey: Okay, so you know we’re all Sagerinas here! We’re so glad that this baby survived the sniper attack that was focused on her by the Dollhouse producers. Sage didn’t call her ugly, but we could see the hesitation. We could! It’s okay Lainey, you’ll grow into your features (thanks a lot, Cole). We’re rooting for you!

Future Legend:

Aurora: The PENULTIMATE baby. The moment, the legend, the MYSTERY, miss Aurora Harper. We know better than to say anything about this star-studded baby, considering Austin’s, well, record. We expect such big things from this baby, truly, especially with a stage mom like that. Aurora Harper for president!

#breaking news #submission

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anxiousinternetfox · 18 days ago

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Thanks for tagging me @everythingisliminal

This is awesome cause I’m hoping to lower my screen time this year by getting back into reading more, so here’s what my list looks like so far:

- Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin (keeps getting recommended to me so I'm finally getting around to it)

- The Storied Life of AJ Fikry also by Gabrielle Zevin (recommended to me by the person who has recommended me pretty much all of my favorite books so high hopes for this one)

- Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee

- Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins (my Mom got it for Christmas so I will be stealing it so I can read it too finally)

- El León, la Bruja, y el Ropero by CS Lewis (translated by Margarita Valdés E and Teresa Mlawer) (I've been working on this one since 2023 as a way to practice my Spanish understanding and I didn't get around to finishing it last year so trying again this year)

- Building Thinking Classrooms by Peter Liljedah (started reading this in my teaching program a couple years ago but we didn't read all of it so I'd love to finish the rest of it)

- The Jewel House by Deborah Harkness (got this from another friend who loves it and I'm having a hard time getting through it but I want to finish it for their sake)

- The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid (I've been unsure whether to read this despite it being so popular but now like 3 people I'm pretty close with have recommended it specifically to me so I might need to actually read it)

- Radio Silence by Alice Oseman (a reread but a necessary reread)

I’m not good at talking to people on here so if anyone else wants to participate, tag, you’re it; I’d love to see what anyone else is looking forward to reading this year and maybe get some recommendations :)

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the-demi-jedi · 9 months ago

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“She is free, her face is clean and there is no filter in her vision.” Yes, and when you know some deeper lore, you know this quote is more accurate for Emerie than it initially looks like.

Throughout the show, Emerie was wearing this device / implant on her head - the pic is blurry, but it's the only one I could find that shows Emerie from behind.

The device looks like a variant of AJ^6 headgear, whose most known user was Lobot, Lando Carlissian's aide.

Echo also has one, after the procedure

This device can drastically increase your productivity and kick your brain into overdrive, but it can also gradually erase your emotions and personality - which is what happened to Lobot, who once had to use the implant to the fullest to save Lando and in the process became barely more than an organic droid. That means this device can at least partially explain Emerie's initial cold, calculating demeanor and indifference to things like, y'know, kidnapping children and locking them in a lab.

In the TBB epilogue, as seen above, Emerie no longer has this device - she either had it removed, or it wasn't a permanent implant in the first place. That means nothing is interfering with her personality any longer and her new warmness/fondness she has shown in the epilogue is her real self.

So yeah, Emerie is free :)

“She is free, her face is clean and there is no filter in her vision. And she's so grateful for him, she's ready to fight by his side.”

ECHO & EMERIE “A moment of warm sun”

The duo I didn't know I needed, and now one of my favorites:)

Star Wars: The Bad Batch [S7E15]

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb season 3 #emerie karr

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aliverse · 2 years ago

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which ocs are pro low rise jeans and which are against?

OOF! Let's see

Pro: Eden, Jane, Rue, Hero, Taylor, Alanis, Riley, Paris, Zara, Posie, Hadley, Ariella, Isaac, Destiny, Riley, Carmen,

Anti: Esme, Belle, Othello, Kathryn, Priscilla, Wren, Liberty, Arden, Eliza, Rory, Caroline, AJ, Lana, Faith, Lauren, Sawyer, Hazel, Matilda, Emery, Enid, Dove, Amelia, Audrey, Estella, Lydia, Juliet, Tate, Astrid

Send me an ask!

#type: answered

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thewannabewriter · 2 years ago

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🚨LONG(ish) POST ALERT🚨

Wow! First of all, I knew that you were in the process of writing more chapters, but you are on a roll my friend. Just finishing one part and then starting a new one straight away? My hero!

And you started off with a bang! Not literally of course. I loved hearing about everyone rallying around Emery. One of the hardest things is to not only admit you need the help but to actually take action and do the thing that terrifies you. And seeing Emery not only do that but start to work towards getting back to her old self it great and you've written it really well and with compassion and it's great to see such a storyline handled with the right amount of care. Brilliant!

And who knew we needed a Will/Bex/Emery/Kol quad? Not me, but I love seeing Bex and Emery's friendship be on it's way back to pre-Ty and seeing Emery and Will begin to become friends too and build on that trust. Margarita night. I'm not gonna lie, I have so many questions about what happened and what stories were told (if you ever wanted to add that as an extra chapter, no one would blame you and you'd have someone(s) to read it....just a thought....)

Anyway, I really love how much you've brought Kol in. Getting to see more of the "wiggly ball of snuggles" is amazing. And getting to see him be protective/scary and then straight back to goofy is so adorable. And I had a really good giggle at Will telling Kol off for 'language' 🤣🤣

Oh and, finally, I have been dying to know who AJ is since you posted the character inspirations (still think that Adelaide Kane as Bex is a genius choice) but I thought I'd wait because I know you're brilliant and would bring him up at some point. And of course, not only am I right, but now I'm extremely intrigued. And so is Will, but in a more overly protective brother way I'm sure 🤣

Brilliant chapter as always 👏👏🙌🙌

Wingman? Wingwoman? Wingperson. (Chapter One)

Summary: This is Part Sixteen of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Teen and Up

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, pre-Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples

Warnings: Referenced Domestic Violence and Threatening Behaviour (these are warning tags for a brief scene with Ty at the beginning), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Rejection, Self-Sabotage, but also on the flip side - Connor and Will being too freaking cute to handle.

A/N: To underscore my previous note, this is an alternate universe so things have unfolded differently. This will not follow the canon arc exactly by any means. But I hope you'll still enjoy it!

Chapter One

Bex

The two weeks since Chris’s party had been…a bit of a whirlwind.

They’d managed to get Emery safely inside of their apartment that night. Will wanted to take her to the hospital to get checked out or at least let him give her a once over, but Emery refused.

She was clearly exhausted so they let it go for one night and set her up the couch. The next morning, she agreed to have someone check her out. Will ended up calling in a favour from Nat who came over and made sure all Emery needed was rest and acetaminophen.

And food. Bex kept trying to get her to eat. It felt like the only constructive thing she could do in the moment and Emery was definitely behind on good meals.

They turned her phone off since it kept blowing up with messages from Ty and cuddled with Kol on the couch for the day.

On Monday, Bex rallied the troops. Kira, Malia, Devon, Sam, Isaac, Ben, and Faith joined them on a retrieval mission for Emery’s things. Ty was at work and between the nine of them, they could be in and out. She didn’t want to take much. Just her clothes and personal stuff. Everything else could be replaced.

Emery was quiet, but talking about things in bits and pieces. She had an appointment with a new therapist and was taking a bit of time off work while she sorted things out. Bex picked her up a new phone so she’d be free from Ty harassing her.

For a few days, it seemed like things were going to go smoothly, until Thursday night when she took Kol out for a walk. Will was at work and Emery was safely upstairs. Bex thought she could take the dog out to do his business (that no poop rule lasted less than a day) and be back in no time.

Ty was waiting when they got back to the parking lot. He’d slashed the tires on her car.

As if Tin Can 2.0 didn’t have enough to deal with already.

He started screaming as soon as he spotted her, demanding to know where Emery was, and Bex had never been more grateful that you needed a key to get into their building. He couldn’t get to the apartment. To Emery.

Bex barely had a minute to be scared before Kol started going wild, straining on the leash and snarling at Ty. He actually looked terrifying.

Ty backed off and left. Once she was in the clear, Bex ran upstairs, promising Kol all the steak in the world along the way. Wonderful, amazing Kol who was already back to his goofy, grinning self.

She called Jay immediately. He came over with a few uniformed officers who took her statement and got the parking lot footage from her super. It was enough to get a restraining order against Ty that would cover her, Emery, and Will.

Probably something they should have thought about from the start, but there had been a lot going on.

Bex made sure to cover all of her bases after that. She circulated Ty’s photo to everyone in their friend and family group. They all knew to keep an eye out.

Emery still didn’t want to bring charges against Ty. She just wanted to move forward. After the blow-up in the parking lot, she actually relaxed even more. It was like she was waiting for something like that to happen. For the other shoe to drop. With a restraining order in place and a gigantic new support system around her, glimpses of the old Emery were coming through.

By the end of the second week, she was way more comfortable with Will. The three of them had a margarita night last night and an epic amount of bonding had taken place.

Mostly over them trading funny Bex stories?

But she couldn’t even be mad about that. Not when it had Emery laughing again.

Today, everyone was having a lazy Sunday morning.

The three of them were sprawled around the living room. Will in the big chair, phone in hand. Bex on one end of the couch with her phone and Emery on the other end with Kol sprawled across her lap.

Kol had probably been the best one at bringing Emery out of her shell. Bex wondered idly if Will had considered getting him trained as a therapy dog. Her kids at the hospital would love it if she brought him in. She’d have to ask him about that.

Her phone buzzed and she swiped for the message quickly. And sighed.

Just Jay checking in.

She wrote him back and scrolled through her messages again just to check.

Nothing from Mouse.

She sighed. Again.

Across the room came an echoing sigh from Will as he set his phone down on the arm of his chair.

Emery looked up from her Kol snuggles, eyebrows raised as she glanced between the two of them. “What’s up with you two?”

“Nothing,” Bex and Will said at the same time.

“Right.” Emery cupped Kol’s face in her hands, leaning down to touch noses. “Do we believe them, Kol? Hunh? Do we?”

Kol licked her nose and she looked up. “Kol says you’re full of shit.”

“Language, Kol,” Will said, pointing a finger at him.

Kol tilted his head with a little whine, cuddling into Emery when she smooched the top of his head. “It’s clearly not nothing,” she said. “Want to maybe talk about it instead of sighing all day and checking your phones for messages?”

Bex didn’t even know if there was something to talk about at this point. Or if she should be bothering Emery with it given everything she was going through.

“It’s about Connor and Mouse, right?” Emery guessed and Will’s head snapped up in surprise. Bex was less shocked. Emery had known about her Mouse…situation since the beginning.

“What do you mean—uh, Connor? No—”

Emery cut off Will’s rambling with a sympathetic smile. “You talked about him a lot last night,” she said and she was not wrong. It had actually been really cute.

“I knew margarita night was a mistake,” he grumbled.

“No, no!” Emery shuffled Kol over to the centre cushion so she could sit up straight. “It was fun and nice to hear about normal stuff, you know? And it was a good start.”

Bex was almost afraid to ask, but she dove in anyway. “A good start to what?”

“A game plan,” Emery said, narrowing her eyes as she clapped her hands together. “To get you your men.”

Oh, no.

“We really don’t need to talk about that right now,” Bex began and Will jumped in wholeheartedly.

“Yeah, it’s not something for you to worry about—”

“Honestly? I’d rather focus on this,” Emery said, huffing out a quiet laugh. “I’d kind of like to ignore how much of a mess my life is at the moment and focus on you guys. Let’s all believe in romance and love for a bit and get you two sorted out.”

There was a moment of silence and then—

“Okay,” Will said. “But Bex has to go first.”

“Will!”

“No, that’s fair,” Emery said. “He’s going to be easy since he and Connor are practically dating already.”

“Hey, we’re—”

“I would love to hear how you’re going to try and deny that,” Emery said, steepling her fingers under her chin.

"It's...complicated?" Will opened and closed his mouth a few times before falling back in his chair and waving a hand. “Right, so Bex’s turn?”

“You have the floor,” Emery nodded at her.

“I don’t even know,” Bex groaned. “I thought for sure that we were headed toward something. There’s been so many moments.”

Will and Emery nodded, having heard about the moments during margarita night.

“But then he was so quiet at the end of the party and I’ve barely heard anything from him since.”

“Maybe he’s giving you some space,” Will said. “He knows what’s been going on.”

Bex tilted her head side to side, weighing that. “We text a lot,” she said. “Even if he was giving me space, he’d still be checking in more than whatever’s happening right now.” She bit her lip, resisting the urge to look at her messages again. “It’s like he’s pulling back.” Which was making her question every moment in detail.

“Did anything happen at the party?” Emery asked.

“He looked happy to see me, but I didn’t see much of him after that. He was weird at the end of the night, but I figured he was tired. Now…I don’t know.”

“Maybe he got scared,” Emery said. “You guys have been circling each other for so long—”

“Months.” Will interjected, like he was any better.

“Basically forever,” Emery agreed. “And now you’re on this precipice of becoming something, but neither of you is taking the next step. Maybe he’s waiting for you to make the first move?”

“That doesn’t explain the pulling away,” Bex pointed out.

“You said you guys got really close again during set up,” Emery said. “But nothing happened—”

“I think it almost did.” The whole scene was basically imprinted in her brain. “Hailey and Jay showed up right then so I don’t know.”

“Maybe that's what spooked him,” Will said. “Jay’s his best friend. The two of you getting together will change things.”

“We hang out together all of the time anyway,” Bex laughed. “I don’t know if it’ll be that different.”

“Bex.” Will levelled a flat look at her. “It’ll change things. I guarantee Mouse is thinking about that. You should be too if you haven’t.”

“I have,” she admitted. It was all she’d been thinking about lately. Worrying about Jay and how it could affect things. Affect their family. What could change. For worse...but also for the better. How actually amazing it could be.

“And it is scary," she said. "But I keep coming back to the fact that I trust our friendships, you know? I think—I think it would be okay?”

Emery hummed a little at that. “So—” She paused, choosing her words carefully. “If you feel that way, why haven’t you made the first move?”

That was the question.

Bex had feelings for Mouse. Really, ridiculously strong feelings.

She wanted to be with him.

She wanted to take that leap. So badly.

But putting herself out there—

Holding out her heart.

Maybe it would work out and Mouse would say yes and everything would be amazing and wonderful.

But if he said no.

If it was Mouse saying no this time—

She didn’t know if she could handle that.

Emery was looking at her with understanding eyes and Bex was regretting ever getting into this conversation.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Emery said softly. “But not putting yourself out there again isn’t the answer, Bex.”

“This isn’t—we’re not talking about that,” Bex said. It was an understood rule. They didn’t talk about it. She didn’t think about it. If she tried hard enough, she could forget it ever happened.

And Bex tried really hard.

“We are when it’s stopping you from taking another chance at happiness,” Emery said.

“Are we—” Will looked between the two of them, a frown forming on his face. “Are we still talking about Mouse?”

“No—”

“Drop it, Em,” Bex cut in. “You promised.”

“I wouldn’t be a good friend if I kept that promise,” she said. “It’s time, Bex. We need to talk about AJ.”

The three of them sat frozen in the living room while Emery’s words hung heavy in the air.

Will straightened up in his chair, staring directly at her. “Who the hell is AJ?”

Click here to read Wingman? Wingwoman? Wingperson. on ao3:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @iunnowatuwant, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @ivyalmighty, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3, @multifandomgrl08, @foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix,

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thewannabewriter · 2 years ago

Text

🚨LONG(ish) POST ALERT🚨

First of all.

I did not expect to cry today. So congratulations on that 🥺😢😅 I don't know who my heart breaks for more, Bex or Mouse. I mean, Bex at least has all her friends gathered round her for support. And can I just say i loved getting to see more of the group dynamic, i kind of missed those bastards (completely forgot about the group name they gave themselves🤣) and their group chat bit was hilarious. But, anyway, Bex has no idea the real reason behind Mouse saying no and after finally getting the courage to ask, after all we've learnt about AJ, I'm just glad that she and Emery are able to be not okay together.

Not to mention that through all the heartbreak, she's still thinking about making sure Mouse is okay, which just shows how big a heart she has. Including how true it is that once you're part of the Hermann circle, you're stuck. Although I will admit that had hoped Bex found out about the bet at a happier time, not having just been "rejected"(putting in quotes because we all know that if Mouse hadn't spoken to Jay he would have said yes, because that's how he really feels) but good on Bex for threatening to withhold cookies. She knows her family, and how they definitely would go after Mouse if needed (even though he's family) for hurting her, but that the only way to stop them would be to go right for the jugular - no cookies 🍪 - they wouldn't know how to survive and would definitely be freaking out at that threat!

And Mouse. Poor Mouse. He was finally ready to confess his feelings, only to have his best friend tell him it would be a mistake. And then, just when he's starting to get a handle on pushing his feelings away, the person who is everything he wanted admits that she feels the same way. But he has to break her heart. Or at least that's what he thinks he has to do to avoid losing anyone should anything go wrong. No wonder he looks so bad when Jay goes to check on him, he's just had to hurt one the people he cares about the most, only for her to then turn around and comfort him. And send someone to check on him. Except, unknown to her, that person is also the one who convinced him that them being together would be a mistake. Which must have hurt just as much, seeing Jay after having to say no to Bex. Poor Mouse 🥺

At least Jay is starting to realise that he may have fucked up. Can't wait to see how that all plays out. I still really want to see someone hit him upside the head for that...okay so maybe I'm still feeling a 'lil violent towards him, especially after this chapter.

On to more positive notes. WILL AND CONNOR HAD THEIR DATE!!! And I loved all of it. From Will getting ready and texting clothes options to Bex, to Connor being too excited to wait in his apartment and then to the KISS at the end. Oh my 🥵 they were definitely feeling it after that. We love seeing Will happy. And then he came home and just wanted to spill everything to his sister, only having to settle for gushing to Kol (does it count as 'settling' if it's to Kol? I mean, Kol can't give a verbal response, but the cuddles and wiggles would be just as good right?). Also, I loved the "language" call back to the previous chapter, that was brilliant. And the wiggly ball of snuggles (I'm never going to get over that description 🙂) really should learn to watch his language 🤣

Overall, this was just an amazing update. It took me through all the emotions, though I can't wait for the below not to be one.

But that won't be until Bouse are happily together. And I can wait until that happens, because I know when it does you'll do it justice ❤️ Anyway, as I was saying, brilliant as always 👏👏🙌🙌

Wingman? Wingwoman? Wingperson. (Chapter Four)

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: Referenced Domestic Violence and Threatening Behaviour (these are warning tags for a brief scenes with Ty), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Rejection, Self-Sabotage, Swearing, and I'm adding Emotional Whump because writing this one hurt me, but also on the flip side - Connor and Will still being too freaking cute to handle.

A/N: To underscore my previous note, this is an alternate universe so things have unfolded differently. This will not follow the canon arc exactly by any means. But I hope you'll still enjoy it!

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Bex

Will called them back in the middle of the afternoon and it was pretty much the best phone call Bex had ever received. Top five for sure.

Her brother was giddy and the two of them were just as bad, drawing stares as they did a happy dance in the middle of the sidewalk. He couldn’t talk long since he had to go back to work, but promised to tell them the whole story later that night.

After his date.

“You’re next, Bex! You got this!” Will’s whispered cheers echoed out of the speaker phone. “I’ve got to get back to work, but I believe in you! Love you, bye!”

He disconnected before she could respond, leaving her standing there holding the phone and giggling as soon as she made eye contact with Emery.

“I would love to be a fly on the wall there for the rest of the day,” Bex said, still chuckling. “He is so spun.”

“That’s going to be you soon enough!” Emery knocked shoulders with her. “Got a game plan yet?”

“Still a work in progress,” Bex mumbled and Emery shook her head.

“Take your own advice, Bexie Babe,” she said. “And breathe.” She linked arms with Bex as they headed back toward the car. “What else was it you said to Will? You’ve already got something great and this is just taking a step toward something even better.”

It had certainly worked out for Will.

“Speak from the heart,” Emery continued. “You’re good at that.”

Breathe and speak from the heart. That seemed straightforward enough. “Okay, yeah,” Bex said, taking a shaky breath. “I’ve got this.”

“Say it again with confidence,” Emery demanded.

“I’ve got this,” Bex yelled.

“Yeah, you do!”

They high-fived and climbed into the Tin Can 2.0 to finish off the rest of their errands. High on Will’s success, they managed to zip through the remainder of the list and soon enough, Bex was dropping Emery off at Kira and Malia’s.

She waited until Emery was safely inside before getting ready to pull out of the parking and just as she was about to leave, her phone went off with a series of dings.

Picking it up, she swiped the screen to see a bunch of messages from Emery.

Pep talk texts before you go! Breathe! Be brave! Remember – horrible, horrible honesty.

And the last one was a bunch of emojis: lips, heart hands, and—

“Seriously?” Bex laughed as she dumped her phone back in the cup holder, ignoring the string of eggplant finishing off the message. Mission accomplished in any case.

A game plan was starting to form…

She felt lighter.

She felt ready.

Well, she needed to grab one more thing and then, she’d be ready.

***

Adam

As far as work days in Intelligence went, this one was actually kinda boring? With a break between cases, Voight had declared it paperwork day which sucked, but at least Adam was all caught up now.

Unlike Halstead, Atwater, and Upton who were still upstairs typing away. Dawson and Olinsky had ducked out awhile ago—no idea how they’d managed to be so fast.

Al typed with two fingers.

Kim was finished too so they’d made plans to meet up for pizza and a beer. He jogged down the front steps of the precinct, whistling to himself and feeling pretty pleased with—

“Adam.”

“GAH!” He flailed away, nearly falling off the last step when Bex popped up out of nowhere.

Where the hell had she come from?

“You’re awfully jumpy,” she said mildly, leaning up against the railing with a tray holding two iced drinks in her hands.

“What are you doing here?” He looked around, trying to keep one eye on her and the other scouting for traps. “If you’re looking for Jay, you’ll be waiting awhile.”

“I’m here to attend to…other business.” She maintained eye contact with him while picking up one of the drinks to take a slow sip.

Other business. Like…revenge business.

“Right. Cool,” Adam said, keeping a careful distance away from Bex as he navigated around her on the sidewalk. “I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you around.” He kept her in his sights, walking backwards toward the parking lot.

“Not if I see you first,” she called out.

Yeah.

He was inspecting every inch of his car before he got in it today.

***

Bex

That was fun.

She watched Adam scuttle off with a smirk.

“Bold move terrorizing folks outside of a police station,” a familiar voice said.

She spun around to see Mouse standing on the steps behind her, mouth quirked in a crooked little grin.

“They all know it’s justified,” she said, waving a hand at the precinct in general.

Mouse chuckled for a moment until his gaze met hers. All the good humour slowly faded away and tendrils of doubt started to creep into Bex’s mind.

He cleared his throat and adjusted his bag on his shoulder. “So, uh, you looking—you looking for Jay?” He jerked a nod back at the door. “I think he’s gonna be an hour or so still.”

“Actually, I came here to see you,” she said and his gaze snapped back to her.

“Me?” He looked like a deer in headlights and Bex wished she could hear what he was thinking because this one-eighty in his behaviour lately was giving her whiplash.

***

Mouse

Mouse couldn’t breathe.

He’d been trying so hard to keep his distance—to take some time so he could be around Bex and not want…fucking everything.

But now here she was. Standing there looking beautiful with a smile of pure sunshine and she was here for him.

And he couldn’t.

Breathe.

How was he supposed to do this?

“I got you one of those iced caramel monstrosities you like,” she said with a teasing grin, holding out a cup with a familiar logo. His favourite coffee shop from three streets over.

He unclenched a hand from the strap of his bag and reached out to accept it with a jerk. “Thank you,” he managed to say.

“Soooo…” Bex tossed the tray in the trash and rocked back on her heels, taking a small sip of her drink. “You busy right now?”

Say yes and walk away.

Say yes.

Walk.

Away.

“Well, I’ve got this monstrosity to work my way through now,” he said instead, clearly not in control of his own mouth anymore.

“What do you think about taking a walk with me while you do that?” Bex asked, fingers clenching on her cup as she bit at her lip.

If he was a better man… a stronger man…he would say no. Mouse could see where this was headed from a mile away. It had been building for weeks. Months really.

There was never any real possibility of hiding from it. Distance was never going to stop it.

Inevitability made him a weak man. He needed to live in this fantasy for a few moments longer and pretend that this was his life. That he and Bex were taking this step toward something more.

Something great.

Instead of a mistake.

He wanted a few more minutes to pretend he could have this because when it ended how he knew it was going to end…the fantasy would be all he had left.

Mouse wanted to hold onto as many scraps as he could.

“Yeah,” he murmured, hating himself for giving in to this desperate need. “I could go for a walk.”

***

Bex

Bex and Mouse walked down the sidewalk together, bumping arms occasionally as they drifted into each other’s space. He filled her in on the boring day of paperwork they’d had and she told him about Emery’s progress.

Easy chit-chat that barely masked the humming tension between them.

She was doing this. Bex could hardly believe it, but she was doing this. The first part of the plan—get Mouse’s attention with a tasty beverage—has been successfully navigated and now she just had to make it through step two.

Set the stage.

There was a little garden park a block south of the precinct. Erin had actually introduced her to it one time when they met up for coffee. It was fairly quiet, nicely shaded, and had the added benefit of being relatively neutral ground that she and Mouse could both escape from if things went seriously south.

Plus a nice little bench they could make out on if things went seriously well.

…way to get ahead of yourself, Bex.

She deftly steered them into the park and made a beeline for the bench, patting the spot beside her for Mouse to take a seat.

He veered left instead, taking a spin around to look at the flowers.

Okay.

That was fine. She could pour her heart out while standing just as easily.

Well, not easily either way, but whatever.

Bex left her drink on the bench and wandered over to Mouse’s side. He was staring hard at a bed of daylilies, jaw clenched.

He looked stressed.

…maybe this wasn’t the right moment.

But what if there was never a right moment? There was always something going on and finding a perfect time was probably never going to happen.

And if he was freaking out about them getting closer, then there was never going to be a moment unless she took the initiative.

So.

Time to leap.

“Mouse,” she said quietly, but still managing to startle him. “Sorry. Um, I came looking for you today because there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

His forehead furrowed into a deep frown. “Bex—”

“Just let me get this out, okay?” She said in a rush, holding up a hand to ward off whatever he was going to say. She’d come too far to stop now.

“We’ve known each other for…a long time now,” Bex said with a little laugh and he smiled back at her faintly. “You’re one of my best friends, but I feel like lately, we’ve been getting even closer and it feels like we’re moving toward something—something more than friends.”

Oh, god, could she be any more awkward?

Focus, Bex.

“What I’m trying to say is that I would like that. And I’ve been getting the feeling that you would too,” she said, voice going up in a questioning note. “So, would you like to go on a date? With me?”

Bex held her breathe as all her hope and fear and excitement swirled in one terrified vortex.

Mouse’s eyes went wide. “Bex, no—”

Her brain stuttered to a halt and the vortex stopped.

Everything was silent.

Then that crack, the one deep inside that had been patched up so crudely, split and opened its jagged maw.

She—

She’d done it again.

What the hell was wrong with her?

To think that Mouse could lo—that he might—

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I think I misjudged what was happening here and—oh, gosh. I’m so sorry, Mouse, please forget I said anything, okay?”

“No, Bex, no—” He grabbed at her arm to stop her very necessary retreat and she couldn’t look him in the eye because she was two seconds away from losing it.

“Not no no,” he said and what did that mean? Did he not know any other words right now?

“I’m trying.”

Oh. She’d said that out loud.

“Bex, please look at me,” Mouse said and it was the desperate note in his voice that had her looking up. “Not no, I don’t want to, but no, I can’t. We can’t.”

“What do you mean, we can’t?” Bex halted her escape attempts and now Mouse wouldn’t meet her gaze. “I need a little bit more here, Mouse, because I’m so confused.”

“You didn’t misjudge anything,” he said softly. “There was something there.”

…was.

“I thought about being with you. Wanted that so much.”

She reached out to lay a gentle hand on top of his. “Me too,” she said. “Don’t you think it’s worth trying?”

Mouse shook his head in a rough jerk. “It would be a mistake,” he said flatly, stepping back.

“Or it could be amazing,” Bex said. “And honestly, I’d put better odds on that outcome.”

“No, it would never work—”

“I think you could give us both a little more credit.” Frustration was starting to edge out the shock now.

“It wouldn’t be you,” Mouse said, looking out at the garden with a thousand-yard stare. “I would mess it up, Bex. There are things you don’t know about me—”

“But I want to know—”

“I could never be who you need me to be.” He tapped a fist against the centre of his chest. “I can’t give—there’s no way it wouldn’t end in disaster, Bex and then—I’d lose you.”

She didn’t know what to say. How to break through this horrible imaginary scenario he’d spun for himself. “Mouse, no—”

“I’d lose you,” he said, firm now in his conviction. “And I’d lose Jay and I can’t do that, Bex. You and Jay are the most important people—you’re my family.”

Mouse moved back into her space suddenly, gripping her hands in his. “I can’t risk it. Do you—please understand, Bex,” he said, voice breaking. “Losing you and Jay would be it for me. I couldn’t survive that. I can’t—it would—”

“Okay.” Bex fought to keep her voice level as the reality of things finally settled in. “It’s okay, Mouse. I understand.”

There would be no convincing Mouse that his fears were unfounded.

She couldn’t say with one hundred percent certainty that they weren’t because no one could predict the future—although Mouse seemed to think he could—and maybe they would end in disaster.

She’d rather try and see how it went then never try at all, but it took two of them to make that decision. Bex liked to think that their friendship could survive a break-up, but maybe that was her being naïve.

Maybe Mouse was saving them from a broken future, but that thought didn’t do anything to fix the widening crack of pain and grief spreading through her.

They were trading possible, imaginary future heartache for very real heartache right now.

How was this better?

Bex dug deep and forced a small smile on her face. Mouse looked like he was careening toward a panic attack and she knew how hard it must have been for him to get all of that out.

The last thing she ever wanted was for him to lose his family.

For them to lose each other.

For them both to fall apart.

At least she had more people to help her pick herself back up.

Mouse had Jay.

And he had her.

She could suck it up and hold them both together for now.

“You are never going to lose us, Mouse,” she said, squeezing his hands back. “You’re my family too and I don’t know if you’ve noticed this about us Herrmanns, but once we latch on to you, you’re stuck with us for life.”

They both chuckled a little wetly at that.

“We will always be friends,” she said. “We will always be family. Nothing could ever happen to make us lose each other.” She shifted their hands into a pinky swear. “I promise.”

He stared down at their joined fingers as she shook them. “I’m so sorry, Bex,” he began.

“Shut up.” She released his hands and pulled Mouse into a hug. He held stiff for a moment before putting his arms around her and holding tight. “Believe that we’re going to be okay,” she said. “That’s all I want from you.”

“Okay,” he whispered into her hair.

She’d try to believe it too.

They had to be.

***

Mouse

Bex left shortly after that, saying she had to pick up Emery.

Mouse stayed in the little park, sitting on the bench and peeling at the edges of the label on his cup thinking that if he waited long enough…the ache in his chest would go away.

That the knowledge he’d done the right thing would kick in and he wouldn’t feel like he’d gone ahead and destroyed everything that mattered the most to him anyway.

But deep down, he knew.

He knew—

This wasn’t how doing the right thing was supposed to feel.

***

Bex

Bex sat in her car outside of Kira and Malia’s building.

She’d somehow found her way back to the Tin Can and driven all the way there without noticing and that was definitely not good. She was lucky she didn’t get into an accident.

The sun was beating down on the windshield making it rapidly more uncomfortable in her sweat-sticky seat, but she couldn’t move yet.

Not when moving meant facing people and facing people meant telling them—

She couldn’t move yet.

Her phone buzzed and she fished it out of the cupholder to check the message.

Will.

Checking in to see how it went.

Oh, god, she couldn’t tell him. He’d totally cancel his date with Connor and he was so excited for it. She didn’t want to be the one to ruin that.

She’d had her fill of ruining things today.

BEX: I chickened out.

A laugh slipped out at the keyboard smash he texted back. Another rapid fire set of texts followed it.

WILL: We’ll work on your game plan. WILL: It’ll be GREAT!!! You’ll see!

BEX: Sounds like a plan. Have fun on your date. Emery and I will be at Kira and Malia’s so you’ve go the apartment to yourself. 😉

WILL: a;lsdfa;ds

BEX: How red is your face right now?

WILL: STOP WILL: IT’S OUR FIRST DATE

BEX: I’m just saying…

WILL: 😩😩😩 WILL: We’re taking it slow, okay? WILL: I don’t want to mess this up.

A lot of that going around.

BEX: Sorry, I’ll stop teasing. It’s going to be great. You guys are perfect for each other. BEX: Have fun, okay? I can’t wait to hear all about it.

WILL: See you tomorrow

Yeah. She definitely was going to hold off telling him the truth for a few days. He deserved to have this time right now.

They could deal with her disaster later.

Bex took a deep, bracing breath and headed up to Kira and Malia’s apartment.

You’re okay.

You can talk about this.

You’re fine.

She knocked on the door and Kira answered immediately, Malia and Emery peering over her shoulder from behind.

Kira took one look at her face and reached out to pull her inside. “Oh, sweetie.”

Bex bursts into tears

***

Actual and Honorary Bastards Group Chat

MALIA: 911 MALIA: everyone come here now

ISAAC: WHAT’S WRONG?

SAM: do you need actual 911? We’ve talked about this, Malia

FAITH: Use your words

MALIA: Mouse said no.

DEVON: ON OUR WAY

BEN: We’re getting in the car

MALIA: wait

SAM: ????

MALIA: bring snacks MALIA: and alcohol MALIA: a lot.

***

Isaac

Their crew was assembled at Kira and Malia’s within twenty minutes.

He wasn’t quite sure what kind of scene they’d be walking into—everyone remembered AJ—but Bex seemed remarkably composed.

That was actually more disconcerting if he was honest.

She was teary as she gave them the run-down of her conversation with Mouse, but every time her voice started to break or she got choked up, she stopped and tamped it all down before continuing.

A quick glance around at his friends told him they were growing just as concerned.

“I’m so sorry, Bex,” Emery said, reaching over from her spot beside her on the couch to rub her back. “You must be crushed.”

“It’s not like we were even dating,” Bex said, looking down as she knitted her fingers together in her lap.

“That doesn’t make what you feel any less real,” Faith said softly. “It didn’t have to be official for there to be a real relationship there.”

Bex nodded, swallowing hard. “I just—I feel like I should have realized that’s why he wasn’t making a move, you know? And now I’ve pushed it and freaked him out and what if it’s all ruined anyway? I shouldn’t have said anything—”

“Bex, stop.” Isaac made his way over to the couch and wiggled his way in between her and Kira. “Anyone who saw the two of you together could tell there’s something special there and you’re not a mind reader, okay? Don’t beat yourself up for putting yourself out there.”

“I’m worried he’s going to pull away even more now—”

“You don’t let people get lost, Bex,” Emery said with a gentle smile. “Not for long and never forever. Mouse is in the Herrmann orbit for good and he’ll figure that out soon enough.”

“Okay. Yeah, I guess we just…see how it goes.” Bex sniffed and rubbed at her face before glancing around the room. “Please tell me there’s junk food in those bags you hauled in.”

“So much!” Devon hopped up and started rifling through them. He tossed Bex a bag of salt and vinegar chips first. “We’ve got you covered, girl.”

Isaac used the food distraction as a chance to slip away. His phone had been buzzing non-stop with people wanting to hear how it went.

Wanting to hear the good news that didn’t exist.

As far they knew, it was a sure thing so what was the harm in a few—many—playful check-ins.

They had Bex safely squared away, but he had no idea where Mouse was and he didn’t want to risk anyone making a playful comment to his face.

The guy had made a mistake, but he had to be hurting just as much as Bex right now.

Taking a deep breath, Isaac unlocked his phone and opened up the message thread that had been hopping all day.

He said no. Still getting the details. Best if everyone just forgets about this for now.

Two seconds of silence and then…

The Bouse group chat erupted.

***

Bex

Isaac’s phone was going crazy. He’d muted it, but she could see him peeking at it every once in awhile and a flood of notifications flashing across his screen every time.

“Okay, what is going on?” she finally asked, not able to take it anymore.

Whatever it was, maybe it would be a good distraction.

“Hm?” He quickly flipped his phone face down again, not looking at her. “Oh, nothing. Sorry. Work stuff.”

Right.

“Isaac,” she said and he hummed, still not looking her way.

Her friend was wonderful at so many things, but lying to people’s faces was not one of them.

“Isaac, look me in the eye and tell me that’s work stuff.”

He looked her in the side of her nose as he picked up his phone and started to get up off the couch. “It’s work—oof!”

Bex leapt across Emery to snatch the phone out of his hands. “You forget I know your unlock code,” she said.

“No, Bex!” He tried to grab it back, but she already had it open and more notifications were flashing across the screen. “I’m so sorry,” he said, flopping back on the couch. “I—”

“Is this?” She swiped through the messages. “There was a bet going on me and Mouse?” She looked up to see a room full of regretful nods and Emery rolling her eyes.

“For the record, I was not involved,” she said. “I haven’t even been here.”

“Who is?”

“Pretty much all of Fifty-One and a good chunk of the precinct and Med,” Sam admitted. “Not Chris and Cindy or Jay and Will. Or Connor actually.”

“Are you mad?” Isaac asked in a small voice. “We didn’t mean for it to get this big.”

Bex sighed. She wanted to be, but she didn’t have the energy. And honestly, she wasn’t even surprised. Fifty-One had been betting on everything for as long as she’d known them. And she knew how easily their shenanigans spiralled out of control. They couldn't help themselves.

Part of her wished they’d managed to curb those impulses for this particular situation though. She didn’t need it to get any messier than it already was.

“I’m not mad.” She waved the phone at him. “I’m more concerned about these reactions because you know how my family is. I don’t want anyone saying anything to Mouse.”

Well-meaning or not, it would make things ten times worse. None of them could possibly understand all of the layers at work. They’d just see her hurting and want to take action.

“I’m gonna—” She motioned toward the screen of Isaac’s phone.

“Oh, for sure,” he said. “Go ahead. It’ll be better coming from you I think anyway. More effective.”

Oh, she could do effective.

Bex opened the group chat and started a voice message.

“Hello family and friends. This is Bex. Yes, I know about the bet. I hope you all lost money. By now you’ve heard that ‘Bouse’—who thought of that by the way? Never mind. Not important. Bouse isn’t happening and the most important thing to know here is that it’s no one’s fault. It is what it is, okay? Under no circumstances is anyone to say anything to Mouse. Not one word. If you do, I will know and I will make your life a living hell. And on top of that, I will never make any of you cookies every again. Think about that. If one of you steps over the line, no one gets cookies. Forever. So please just…try and be cool, okay? Love you. Bye.”

She closed the chat and tossed the phone over to Isaac before leaning against Emery with her eyes closed. Everyone was quiet for a minute. Emery stroked her hair.

“Chief Boden is backing you up in the chat and telling everyone to behave,” Isaac reported and Bex sat straight up.

“Uncle Bo was in the chat? God, you really did get everyone.” Bex shook her head. “Okay, no, we’re officially done with that little side quest. It’s too much. Food and drink and snuggles, now, please.”

Her friends leapt into action and she let them do all of the fussing. She was going to let herself be a mindless slug for the next few hours.

Except—

She should do one last thing.

Bex picked up her own phone and sent a quick text to Jay.

Would you mind going to check on Mouse? No questions asked, please. Just do me a favour and check?

He immediately asked a bunch of questions, but when she didn’t respond just wrote “Okay.”

There.

Now Mouse had someone too.

*** Shay

She stared down at her phone. “Don’t say it,” she said, holding up a finger to Julie, knowing she was giving her a look without even having to check. “I know, okay? I know.”

“I wasn’t going to say I told you so.” Julie cuddled up beside her on the couch, hooking her chin onto Shay’s shoulder as she checked out the rapid fire messages being exchanged in the group chat. “I was going to ask if anyone has actually talked to Bex. Do we know how she is? How she really is?”

Shay shook her head. Isaac had been light on details, but she could read between the lines. Plus, Bex sounded awful in the voice memo she’d left in the chat.

They needed to start organizing. Figure out ways to support Bex.

If there was one thing she knew about heartbreak—hard won through her years and years of experience with it—

It always got worse before it got better.

***

Jay

He made his way over to Mouse’s place in record time.

Bex had sent him that cryptic freaking message and then refused to respond to him so he had no idea what he was walking into.

A prickle of fear crawled up the back of his throat as he thought about past situations he’d walked into with Mouse. Things he thought his friend would never come back from.

“Mouse!” Jay banged on the door. “You in there? Open up!”

He kept on banging until the door finally opened.

Mouse stood there, looking like shit and blocking his way in. “What’s up, Jay? You’re gonna get me kicked out of the building if you keep yelling like that.”

“What’s up?” Jay tried to move forward, but Mouse wasn’t budging. “You tell me what’s up? Bex sent me a text asking me to check up on you—”

Mouse’s face did something complicated at that before settling back into a blank stare.

What the fuck was going on?

“Why is she worried about you? What happened?”

“She’s probably just worried because I’m doing what you said.” Mouse focused on a spot on Jay’s shoulder as he talked, voice slow and flat. “Pulling back a bit. Keeping my distance.”

That wasn’t—no, Mouse had got it twisted somehow.

“I didn’t mean don’t hang out with her,” Jay said. “I want us all to hang out like we always do. I just meant it was a bad idea to date.” He started to dig his phone out of his pocket. “Look, I’ll text her and we can have a movie night or something and get some pizza—”

“Jay.”

His tone stopped Jay mid-screen swipe. Jay looked up to see Mouse watching him with a pain in his eyes that he hadn’t seen there for awhile now.

“You’re not getting it, man,” he said. “If I can’t—you said it would be a mistake, right? And I get that. I do. So, I’m trying to walk it back, but it’s—it’s hard.” Mouse’s hand gripped at the door as he took a breath. “…I just need a bit of space.”

“Mouse—”

The door was shut and Mouse was gone before he could finish his sentence.

“Shit,” Jay whispered to himself as a voice in the back of his head started rumbling that he may have seriously fucked up.

***

Will

Will had been counting down the minutes until his shift was over, racing home as soon as he was free. He fed Kol, took him out for a walk, and then hopped into the shower.

Then he stared at his closet and really wished Bex was home.

He settled for sending her pictures of his outfit options until she and her friends helped him narrow it down to the perfect one.

Will felt like a teenager getting ready for his first date. It was a little bit ridiculous.

But fun?

He decided not to examine it too hard.

One final check on his hair and he was out the door to pick up his date.

Connor was waiting for him at the door of his building, but Will managed to get out to open the car door before he made it there. “I would have come up to your apartment,” he said. “Knocked on your door for the whole nine yards.”

“Okay, don’t laugh,” Connor said, pointing at warning finger at him. “ButIgottooexcited.”

“What?” Will laughed, hearing enough of that mumbled mess to get an idea of what he said.

“I got too excited to wait upstairs and decide to come down to wait for you here,” Connor said, rolling his eyes. “Happy now?”

“Yes, actually,” Will grinned at him as he got in the car. “Very.”

They had dinner at one of Will’s favourite restaurants—an Italian place that was more hearty, than fancy. They stopped at a bar afterwards—not Molly’s because neither of them was interested in that level of scrutiny on a first date—for some after dinner beers and a few rounds of darts.

Will kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and for things to take some kind of turn, but it was…

Amazing.

Conversation flowed easily between them with lots of laughter. They stuck to fun and interesting things. Kept it light. They’d had plenty of heart to hearts already so there was an unspoken agreement to lean into the levity of a first date.

And then there was the flirting.

Apparently Connor had been holding back before because Will was overwhelmed in the best way possible. Although he liked to think he was giving as good as he got if Connor’s heated glances were anything to go by.

They stayed out until midnight. Hours later than they should have considering the day they’d both worked, but neither of them had been ready to say goodnight too soon.

Will took Connor back home and walked him to his front door.

“I like the whole nine yards,” Connor said, quirking a smile at him before leaning in. “So…where does a goodnight kiss fall on the taking it slow spectrum?”

He pretended to think it over. “It’s allowed,” Will finally said, moving to close the distance between them.

It was tentative to start, in the way of first kisses, until Connor tilted his head just so and everything slotted into place. Will felt the sparks down to his toes as he deepened the kiss.

He chased the feeling until Connor made a surprised noise and Will pulled back to see he’d somehow crowded Connor into the wall of the building.

Oops.

“We should probably stop before we break the spectrum,” Connor said, sounding a little breathless.

“Right,” Will released him with an embarrassed chuckle. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be.” Connor darted forward to give him one last peck. “I liked it.” He smiled at Will before saying goodnight and heading inside.

Will’s phone went off as he headed toward his car and he knew before he checked it would be Connor.

CONNOR: What are you doing Friday night?

WILL: Going on a date with you?

CONNOR: My fancy car and I will see you at seven.

WILL: I’ll be waiting on the sidewalk.

He knew he was grinning like an idiot the whole ride home, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

He’d gone on a date with Connor Rhodes.

And it was awesome.

Walking back to a Bex-less apartment was less awesome. He wanted to tell her every single detail, but that was going to have to wait until tomorrow.

At least he wasn’t completely alone.

“Kol,” he said, as he flopped down on the couch. “Come here and let me tell you about the wild day I had.”

***

Bex

She and Emery made it back to the apartment by ten the next morning. Well after the time Will would have left for work so at least she wouldn’t have to face him until that night.

Or so she thought.

His stuff was all hanging by the door when she opened it and she could hear humming coming from the kitchen.

“Will?” She called out, sharing a resigned glance with Emery. “What are you doing home? Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he called back. “Somebody needed a switch so I don’t go in until noon. Glad I still get to see you…” He trailed off as he came out of the kitchen and got a good look at her as she stood in the living room.

She tried to look normal, but—

“Oh, Bex,” he said, face falling as he made his way over in two strides. “What happened?”

“I’m fine,” she said, but her voice breaking on the last word didn’t help her cause at all.

Kol lifted his head up from the couch and whined at her.

“Kol says that’s bullshit,” Will said.

“Language, Kol,” she managed to mutter before Will had her wrapped up in a gigantic hug. He maneuvered her toward the couch, getting Kol to scoot over to make room. Emery murmured something about making tea as she headed for the kitchen.

“I really am okay, Will,” she started to say before he cut her off with a flat look. “I will be okay,” she amended. “Talking with my friends last night helped a lot.”

“You can talk to me too,” he said earnestly and she loved him for it, but—

“What I really want to do right now is talk about your date.”

“Are you sure?” He didn’t look convinced by that plan of action at all.

“Oh, my god, yes,” she exclaimed. “I need the serotonin, okay? Do not leave a single detail out. I want to hear about the date. I need to hear about the asking! I mean, I know it went well, obviously, but I want to hear it all from you.”

“I did the sleeve thing,” Will said, already blushing.

“I knew it would work,” Emery yelled from the kitchen.

“Yeah, definitely not how you thought it would though,” Will said, rolling his eyes. He proceeded to tell them the whole hilarious story and Bex sat back, letting herself bask in her brother’s joy.

***

Bex

Later that night, when it was dark and quiet and Will was still at work, she and Emery sat on the couch with Kol between them.

“How are you really doing?” Emery asked her.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Bex shot back.

Silence filled the space between them as neither one moved to answer the question.

But—

Horrible, horrible honesty, right?

“I’m not okay,” Bex whispered. “I feel like I’m walking around with my chest ripped open and I’m trying to hold it together and it shouldn’t be that hard, but every step keeps dragging me down.”

Emery nodded, reaching over Kol to grab her hand. “I’m not okay either,” she said. “I thought I could keep busy and distract myself, but I’m—I’m scared all the time, Bex, and it’s so exhausting. I hate that everything is such a mess, but I can’t find my way through it.”

Bex shuffled around to fully face her on the couch. “I don’t want to talk to my brothers about this right now,” she said. “It’s just too complicated—it’s too much, but—”

“You need to talk about it,” Emery said.

“We both need to talk,” Bex countered. “About all of this stuff. Without pretending we’re okay.”

“So, we’ll be not okay together for awhile.” Emery squeezed her hand and Kol grumbled, rolling over on the couch so they could give him belly rubs. “I can handle that.”

Not okay. Together.

Sounded like a plan.

If you need something to make you smile after reading this and you haven't spotted it yet, I rewrote the break room scene as a little ficlet from Connor's perspective. It's called I'm Looking Disrespectfully, Sir and you can read it here.

Click here to read Wingman? Wingwoman? Wingperson. on ao3:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @iunnowatuwant, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @ivyalmighty, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3, @multifandomgrl08, @foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @thebewingedjewelcat

27 notes · View notes

thewannabewriter · 2 years ago

Text

AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

They're gonna talk! Bex and Mouse. Will and Connor. They're gonna do it!!!!!!!

Not as long a post today, not because it's not as amazing as any other chapter, but because my excitement and nerves are making it hard to think 😂😂

I lived all the bonding and talking they did. AJ is an ass. Kol is the best. And having best friends like Emery and the gang is amazing for Bex. I also loved the back and forth between Will and Bex it really showed how far they've come as siblings. "It's like you forget I'm half Halstead sometimes". That made me giggle. Alongside the thought of Jay, Chris and all of 51 going on an avenging road trip (if you ever wanted to do a "what if" ficlet, that would be hilarious)

And Bex not willing to say the true extent of her feelings out loud to anyone until she's been able to say it to Mouse.

Loved this ❤️

Wingman? Wingwoman? Wingperson. (Chapter Two)

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: Referenced Domestic Violence and Threatening Behaviour (these are warning tags for a brief scene with Ty at the beginning), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Rejection, Self-Sabotage, Swearing, but also on the flip side - Connor and Will being too freaking cute to handle.

A/N: To underscore my previous note, this is an alternate universe so things have unfolded differently. This will not follow the canon arc exactly by any means. But I hope you'll still enjoy it!

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Bex

“Who the hell is AJ?” Will demanded.

“He’s nobody,” Bex replied while shooting a glare at Emery.

“Yeah, sure,” Emery scoffed. “If you can call the guy who broke your heart into a million tiny little pieces nobody.”

“What?” Will managed to fit a whole lot of confusion into one syllable. “Why have I never heard about this? When did this happen?”

What part of not talking about it did everyone not understand?

“Our second year at RISD,” Emery told him when it became clear that Bex wasn’t going to offer up any answers.

“Emery!” So much for their solemn freaking vow. Will was already busy wracking his brain, probably replaying all of the limited conversations they’ve had about her love life.

“You said you dated around a bit when you were there, but that you figured out you weren’t interested in casual dating and that none of the guys you met were interested in anything serious,” Will said slowly, parroting her tried and true story back to her. The one she’d told everyone over the years, herself included.

It was essentially true.

“Yup,” she said with a short nod. “And then I was too busy to date when I got home and then…”

“Mouse,” Will and Emery finished for her.

“That’s pretty much how it went,” Bex said, willing them to drop it.

“Bex.” Emery reached over Kol to press a hand on her knee. “I know we promised to never talk about it ever, but the eight of us made a second pact.”

A what now?

“We knew not talking about it was how you were coping and you seemed okay,” Emery said. “Happy. And we’d keep on that way as long as you kept being happy. But—” She held up a finger to stop Bex from interrupting. “As soon as not talking about it stopped you from being happy, we promised to break the first promise.”

She leaned forward into Bex’s space. “You say you want to take the leap, but you’re too scared to actually do it so now…we talk about it.”

Shit.

Bex really didn’t want to admit she was right.

“Honestly, the rest of them are already talking about an intervention,” Emery continued. “Malia and Isaac have some kind of a PowerPoint presentation?”

“Seriously?”

“Dead serious. They emailed it to me.” She pointed at her phone sitting on the coffee table. “At least now, you get to have this conversation with me and Will instead which is way better.”

That was pretty undeniable.

As was the fact that the firmly placed seal she’d placed over this particular part of her past was cracking on all sides and even just hearing his name was bringing every moment of cavernous heartache back into sharp relief and the idea of feeling a fragment of that pain ever again was—

“Bex.” Will’s voice was so soft, his eyes full of so much concern—she hated to think about what her own face must be doing at the moment.

Okay.

It was time to talk about AJ.

A cold nose snuffled at her hand and she looked down to see Kol shuffling over to her end of the couch, snuggling into her side. She ran a hand down his head and took a moment to gather herself.

“I feel silly hanging onto it for this long,” she said. “I thought I was over it. I convinced myself I was—I should be.”

“There’s never a timeline for stuff like this,” Will said. He studied her for a moment before getting up from his chair. “We need sustenance. I’m going to make tea and Emery, you grab some cookies. Kol, keep doing what you’re doing, buddy.”

Bex laughed lightly as Kol leaned further back into her, asking for belly rubs. Tea, cookies, and puppy time were definitely a better mix to have this chat in than an intervention and a PowerPoint presentation.

By the time Emery and Will returned from the kitchen, cookies and steaming mugs in hand, she felt marginally less frayed around the edges.

Once everyone was settled back in their seats, she took a bracing breath and dove in.

“I met AJ in the first semester of second year,” she said. “He was a couple of years older. In his final year. We met at this party and he was so funny and sweet and ridiculously good-looking. We just…clicked.” She smiled at the memory. It was the craziest night and she’d never felt a spark like that with someone before. The whole thing seemed magical.

“He made it clear he wasn’t looking for anything serious,” Bex continued. “And I thought, I’m away at school! I can do fun and casual. It’s all part of the experience, right?”

Will watched her sympathetically over the top of his mug, letting her get it all out, but already seeing through the delusions of nineteen year old Bex.

“Yeah,” she chuckled dryly. “That lasted about a month and then I caught feelings. Hard.”

Emery winced, remembering those tumultuous months.

“It went on until halfway through second semester when I finally worked up the courage to say something,” Bex said. “I was completely in love with him and I thought he felt the same way. Everything was going great. We went out on dates, he cooked for me at his place, the sex was amazing—”

“I think we can fast-forward this part of the story a bit?” Will asked in a strained voice. “Please?”

Whoops.

“Right, sorry.” Will waved off her apology and she kept going.

“I thought it was the perfect time,” she said. “Take the leap, tell him how I felt, and we had a couple of months to figure out how to keep things going after he graduated.” Bex sighed. “So, I did. I poured my heart out to him and he looked so…shocked. Like, taken aback almost.”

She could still picture his face perfectly.

“He said he thought we had an understanding about what ‘this’ was and he didn’t feel the same way,” she said. “And then he said it was better if we didn’t see each other anymore and never spoke to me again.”

“Asshole,” Emery muttered.

“It wasn’t like he lied to me,” she said, quietly. “He was totally honest about things from the start.”

“With his words, sure,” Emery argued. “But he acted like your boyfriend half the time. I still don’t think he was honest with himself.”

“We can’t say that for sure, Em,” They had this argument, briefly, furiously, the first time around before Bex put a moratorium on the subject.

“He still shouldn’t have ghosted you,” Emery grumbled. “Fucking ass.”

“Do Chris and Cindy know about this?” Will asked. “Jay?”

“Oh, my god, no. And you can’t tell them.” Bex shook her head.

“Jesus, Bex.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “For someone who is all about people talking things through, you sure keep a lot of shit close to the vest.”

She shrugged at him, smiling lightly. “It’s like you forget I’m half Halstead sometimes.”

He made a face at her. “I’m serious, Bex,” he said. “This—this was a really big thing to keep to yourself. To keep buried. Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“So many reasons, Will,” she groaned. “First of all, take what you’re feeling and multiply it by Jay, and Chris, and basically all of 51. You think I wanted all of them road tripping out to Rhode Island to avenge me?”

That had his mouth snapping shut. “Fair.”

“Also, there was a million other, way more important things going on at the time.” She started ticking them off. “Jay was still dealing with returning home and PTSD and joining the academy. And then there was everything with your mom.”

He made a soft noise at that and dipped his chin in a nod.

“And then Andy died,” Bex said, voice catching on those memories. “It was one thing after another for so long and everyone needed me here. And I was happy to be here for them. Focusing on them was easier anyway.”

She liked putting her energy into helping her friends and family. Working on things she could fix.

“Then I moved back and being home was amazing,” Bex said, remembering how great it felt to pull up to the station. “It felt less like I was hiding it and more like it was just part of my past. It didn’t matter anymore. I didn’t need to talk about it. I was over it.”

She said those words and the truth in them resonated down to her bones. “I am.” She looked over at Emery. “I’m totally and completely over AJ. I have been for awhile.”

“That’s good,” Emery said encouragingly. “That’s really good, Bex.”

“But,” Will prompted her.

“I don’t think I can ever forget how it made me feel when he rejected me,” she admitted. “And that’s what’s scaring me because—” Bex took a shaky breath. “What I feel for Mouse is so much more than I ever felt for AJ.”

She wasn’t going to voice it fully out loud. Not before she’d had a chance to say it to the person she wanted to say it to first.

But AJ was a schoolgirl crush compared to Mouse.

“The stakes feel so much higher,” she said. “If I put myself out there with Mouse and he turns me down—” Bex took a shaky breath as she tried not to spiral down into worst case scenarios.

“If he turns you down, we’ll help you through,” Will said, setting his mug down and leaning forward in his chair. “But Bex…what if he says yes?” He smiled knowingly at what she was sure was a ridiculously smitten look on her face.

For the first time, the fear felt a little bit less and she could really picture it. What if he said yes?

It would be…everything.

“I know things have been a bit weird lately with him, but I don’t think you can compare Mouse to AJ at this point,” he said. “Trust me on this, Bex. You’ve had your moments with Mouse, but I can go one better.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen his face when he looks at you when you’re not watching.” Will arched an eyebrow at her. “He’s completely gone on you. Trust me.”

That was what it came down to ultimately. Trust. You had to have it if you were going to hand your heart over.

And she’d always trusted Mouse.

It was time to leap and keep trusting him to catch her.

Bex set her mug down on the coffee table with a thunk. “I’m going to do it,” she declared. “I’m going to talk to Mouse. Tomorrow.”

“Really?” Emery squealed and Will grinned at her brightly.

“Yes,” she said with a decisive nod. “On one condition.” Bex pointed at Will. “You have to talk to Connor too.”

The grin fell off his face.

“We’re. Being. Brave. Together,” she said firmly.

“Mm, yes, that’s fair,” Emery agreed. Kol yawned and stretched. “Kol votes yes as well.”

“I didn’t realize this was a voting situation,” Will said. “Right. Okay. I can talk to Connor. Sure. That’s a thing I can do. No problem.”

“Your turn now,” Bex said. “What’s stopping you?”

Will slumped back in his seat with a groan, scrubbing a hand through his hair and setting it on end. “We should have had this discussion during margarita night.”

“I can make mimosas,” Emery offered. “That’s an acceptable day time drink.”

He perked up at that idea, but Bex knew it was just a delay tactic and no thank you, sir. If she had to spill her guts and work out how to be brave, then so did he.

But he could have all the support he’d given her right back in order to do so. “Kol.” She nudged at the dog until he got off the couch with a rumble. “Go see Will.”

The two of them barely fit on the arm chair together, but Will looked marginally more relaxed with Kol in his lap.

Plus, now he couldn’t run away.

“I know you joked about how we’re practically dating anyway,” he said to Emery. “But it honestly has felt that way lately? We go to lunch all the time. We do things outside of work. He flirts with me. He does all these little touches.” Will sighed. “He’s definitely been giving me signals. I think he’s just waiting for me to take the next step.”

“That makes sense,” Bex said gently. “He knows about your past, right? And Connor’s a good guy. He probably wants to make sure you’re comfortable before moving forward and the best way to do that is to let you make the first move. He needs a clear green light.”

“Right.” Will nodded. “And I really want to, but then I think about the fact that I’ve only ever had one relationship that lasted more than a few months and it fell apart because he wanted to come to Chicago with me to meet my family and I just…couldn’t do that.”

“Oh, Will,” Bex said as his face shuttered.

“His name was Evan,” Will said. “He was—he was great actually. He deserved better.”

“So did you,” Bex said. “You were in a different place back then and you’ve come so far now. Anything you have with Connor would be starting from a whole new foundation.”

Will was quiet for a long time before he whispered, “…what if I don’t know how to be a proper boyfriend?”

“What are you talking about? You would be a great boyfriend. You already are, remember?” Bex wasn’t going to let this self-deprecation stand. “You’re thoughtful, supportive, funny, sweet, and kind. You guys already get along great and share all kinds of aspects of your lives. This would just be taking it up a notch.”

“Taking it up a notch?” Will giggled.

“Adding sexy times,” she said, waggling her eyebrows at him.

“You’re fired from this conversation,” he shot back, turning to Emery. “You’re up.”

“I agree with Bex,” she said. “You’ve got this in the bag. Now all you’ve got to do is bag Connor.” She held up her hand and Bex reached over to high five it while they both stared Will down.

He groaned and tried to get up before realizing Kol was asleep in his lap. “I feel like you got the better end of this pep talk.”

Bex got up from the couch and sat down on the coffee table to look him in the eyes. “You and Connor are great together,” she said. “It’s time to embrace the idea of being fully in a relationship with him. You deserve to be happy, Will. Let yourself be happy.”

He let her words sink in before giving her a small nod. “Okay,” he said. “I’m in. I’ll talk to Connor tomorrow.”

“Yes!” Emery cheered. “Love wins!”

“Calm down,” Will rolled his eyes at her. “I still have no idea what I’m going to say.”

Oh. That was a good point. “Yeah,” Bex agreed. “Me either.”

“There’s only one way to do it,” Emery said solemnly. “Honesty. Horrible, horrible honesty.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Will muttered.

Bex held out a hand to him. “We said we’d do it.”

“Yeah, we did.” Will shook her hand with a laugh. “Okay. Here’s to horrible, horrible honesty.”

Emery grinned at the two of them, satisfaction oozing from every pore. “We should make t-shirts.”

“How about brownies,” Bex offered.

“Yeah, that works too.”

“Tomorrow then,” Will said to her.

“Tomorrow,” Bex agreed.

Go team.

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